Real Idol Night

Well, well, well. It's the boys night on Idol, and it has been a long time coming. Let's see what happened.

Rudy "Free Ride"
My first impression of Rudy during the auditions was good. He was latino, but without too heavy of a latino-hip-gyrating vibe. Then, he revealed himself as the karaoke king of awkward looking grinding on thin air. Let's clear this up right now: he should not sing country rock ever. Stick with richard marx and journey, pal. Or even play up your latin roots.
Overall impression: cute voice, cute face, bad song choice.
He should have chosen: Desafinado by Joao Gilberto

Brandon: "Rock With You" - Singing it like Lionel Richie, looking like Lionel too - only more street. And that's what I was hoping for - more street from this guy. Something edgier, with that tone. I want to hear him sing some Teddy Pendegrass if they'd allow it on idol. And if he doens't sing endless love in a duet with Diana Ross in the finale.... i'll end my pathetic life right then and there.
Overall impression: safe but with potential.
He should have chosen: Close the Door by Teddy Pendegrass

Sundance: "nights in white satin" - For anybody who doesn't get what "pitchy" means, see this performance. He can't keep his voice in key, and it makes him sound like a rank amateur, which i thought he was not. PLUS, he's over pronouncing. The whole thing just sounds forced. He should have taken some muscle relaxers before he went on. Maybe if he would have done the spoken word at the end...
Overall impression: ugh.
He should have chosen: "I Keep Forgettin'" by Michael McDonald (mostly because i wish i could forget his real performance)

Paul: "Careless Whisper" Watch out for the falsetto, it'll get you every time. If anybody on this show should have been singing some Michael Jackson, it was this dude. Or something similarly fluffy pop.
Overall impression: forgettable, yet somehow surprisingly soulful?
He should have chosen: Crazy Love a-la Brian McKnight

chris richardson: "I Don't Wanna Be" I want to hear this guy sing dick in a box. And I could have done without his falsetto add ins. For some reason I want to hear him sing "cornflake girl". But if he is going to go with this suburban white-boy rock, maybe choose something a little less Daughtry. (yes, i made daughtry an adjective)
Overall Impression: surprising, nice look.
Should have chosen: "Over my Head (cable car)" by the Fray

Nick: "Now and Forever" Dude, this performance was bad. B. A. D. Not MJ bad (jaknow). Just bad. Too slow, too soft, too forgettable. Mostly out of tune.
Overall Impression: gone.
He should have chosen: "50 Ways to Leave your Lover" Paul Simon

Blake: "Somewhere only we know" Sing sting. You look enough like him. This was a great performance, even if the vocals weren't perfect. It felt authentic and fresh, and sometimes having the best voice isn't everything.
Overall impression: I'm intrigued. I can't wait to see what he chooses next.
He could have chosen: "I Still Haven't Found what I'm Looking For" by U2


Sanjaya: "knocks me off my feet" Well intentioned choice on the younger stevie, but he sang it too sweet. It seems almost like he was trying to sell it, but for too cheap. I think he has the chops to pull it off, too.
Overall impression: too mild-mannered to take on Stevie yet.
He should have chosen: "Can we Talk" by Tevin Campbell

Chris Sligh: "Typical" Rough-ish start, a little warbly and frightened sounding. But when his adrenaline starts pumping during the chorus, it works itself out, and the second verse was stronger. I want to hear him sing more, more white boy stuff.
Overall impression: great stage presence, doesn't do so well with an exposed beginning.
He should have chosen: "Open Up Your Eyes" by Tonic

Jared: "back at one" Why, why, WHY choose the corniest Brian McKnight song? You can pull off the songs that drip sex, so why choose a sickeningly sweet ballad? This guy should sing some good r&b, not this douchey song. Something a little more dirty.
Overall impression: he can choose better songs.
Shoudl have chosen: "Ignition" by R Kelly

aj: "never too much" It was pitchy, but I kind of like the tone of his voice. Just not polished enough.
Overall impression: too disco, not enough good substance.
He should have chosen: "Ai No Corrida" by Quincy Jones

Phil: "could not ask for more" He should just sing country. you know he wants to. Another one who shouldn't sing the exposed openings, he doesn't have the confidence in his voice for it.
Overall impression: sour way to end the evening, and what is up with the runs the guys have been doing tonight?
Should have chosen: "I Believe I can Fly" by R Kelly

Well, the boys sure stank it up tonight. Guess all the hype got under their skin. My recommendation for next week: Choose songs you can sing right off the bat. There were so many moments tonight you could literally see them working into the song. That's fine for the first week, but the first one to do it next week gets a beating.

More like American Idle....

Enough already with the shitty auditions. We get it. A lot of retards come out to try and get on the show and they are all convinced that it is their big break. I want Hollywood week goddamit.